Remember Me Thursday

Today, is a special national day, “Remember Me Thursday”. Aside from the usual silly national holidays (IE National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, National Learn A Sailing Knot Day), this one has significant meaning my heart.

Pet adoption matters. This year, I adopted my first pet, a tiny 3 pound, 3-month-old kitten named, Smoochy. He came in as a stray, and eventually ended up at Helen Woodward Animal Center. He was all by himself, no mother, no litter mates, but healthy. Healthy and captured my heart the first time I saw his photo. I often wonder what Smoochy’s story was before finding his forever home, but I know that it isn’t as important as the life he has ahead. A life filled with two people that love him, care for him and spoil him.

When Monkey got sick last year, it was the hardest thing that I’ve ever been through in my life. And after he passed away, I thought about the animals that need to be remembered. The ones who are sick in a shelter that doesn’t have someone to cry over them and give them the love that they deserve. Early after losing Monkey, I wasn’t ready to adopt, but I wanted to do… something. So I donated toys, cat litter, and a cat bed to a local shelter by my house, the Escondido Humane Society. Every season since, I make a donation to the Rancho Coastal Humane Society’s thrift store… while you may not always be in a position to adopt, the awareness of those animals without homes is extremely important. Being able to provide something to them, if you can’t provide the home matters.

If my housing situation permitted, I would adopt many others. But for now, you animals in the shelters waiting for your forever homes, have the love from my heart, Smoochy, and Monkey, smiling on you from above.

 

Happy one-month birthday to intherainbows.com!

It’s been one-month since launching IntheRainbows.com. I’m not concerned about reaching the masses. When one person likes one of my posts, I feel great. Great that I have a platform to express some not so nice feelings with the entire world. I hope that I can help someone else, in some way, who is grieving the loss of a pet, or someone who is on the journey of what comes after the intense grief, which is where I’m finding myself today. The goal of In the Rainbows, isn’t to be stuck in grief. But, everyday, I think about my angel animal, & I am a new kitty Mommy. With that, comes along a lot of love, fear, guilt, happiness, gratitude, a wealth of emotions. As IntheRainbows.com turns one-month, & my new kitty turns seven-months old, & my forever angel animal crossed the rainbow bridge ten-months, I am grateful. Grateful for the beauty in love & life & the afterlife & for an open heart willing to love yet again.

Rainbow Bridge Rememberance Day

Amongst the slew of national days, today’s, stood out to me. National Rainbow Bridge Rememberance Day is a day where we can honor and remember our sweet angels who have crossed the rainbow bridge. My angel kitty crossed the rainbow bridge on November 20, 2017. He was my best friend. Always by my side, and forever in my heart. I remember you and think about you everyday, Monkey. You’re always in my heart. I’ll never forget you… How could I? My precious soul kitty, who’s fond memories I will always cherish. I love you. Xoxoxo

Adopting Again

Early after losing Monkey, I remember asking him, “My love, will I ever have another cat again?” I could feel him telling me, “Yes, Mommy, you will. Your heart is too big to not share with another.” From that moment on, I knew, someday, somehow, I would bring another little cat into my life.

The uncertainty of who this little cat would be, at times, gave me great anxiety. Would they love me? Would they connect with me as much as Monkey? No one could ever replace Monkey. No, they couldn’t. But, Monkey could be a big brother, and look down on this little cat with all of his love and guidance. That, I could believe in.

The times had changed since I last adopted an animal. Heck, it had been 10 years for goodness sake. Now everything was online. You could look at pictures, read profiles, even start the process by applying online. I scoured every pet adoption website in the area, searching high and low far and wide for what I hoped would be my new best friend. One of the animal profiles I had bookmarked, was an unnamed, black kitty, being held on his back by the animal shelter. It was a really unflattering photo, but then again, the animal shelter workers aren’t professional photographers. I knew, that with a photo like that, no one would want to meet this unnamed fellow. I checked back on this bookmark several days later, and he had been given a name, “Smoochy”, with still the same bad photo. Aww, Smoochy, what a cute name. Several days later, I noticed that he was gone from the animal shelter’s website. Someone must have adopted him… until I noticed that “Smoochy” was now at a different animal shelter in town, this time with a much cuter picture. I knew that Smoochy would be adopted soon.

But, I couldn’t adopt Smoochy quite yet. Our apartment still needed to be cleaned, and we were going out of town. Every day, I would check the animal shelter’s website, to see if Smoochy was still there, and by awe and surprise he was.

I asked Monkey, “Is it going to be Smoochy? Is he the one?” I felt him say, “I’m not sure, Mommy. But someone special is coming to you soon.”

The day of animal adoption finally came, and Smoochy was still available. We met him, fell in love with him, and were ready to bring him home.

For those of you on your animal adoption journey, my heart is with you. You are truly an amazing person, for opening your heart and home to a new stranger, who will soon become your new friend. Don’t be afraid to listen to your heart. And your heart knows, that this new little guy or gal, will never replace your angel animal. Your angel animal will be, a new big brother or sister.

3/56

With our new kitty turning 6 months old, I was curious what that is in human years. Was he a teen? According to catyearschart.com, he is more of a toddler at the equivalent of 3 human years old. But then I scrolled down… What would the equivalent of 10 cat years be… And the number stared back at me coldly. 56. 56 human years. A swell of muted grief overcame me… That’s too young to die… That’s too young. Thoughts like these can spirals into darkness quickly. Instead I choose to shift, that in my heart, you’ll live forever.

Monday Pet Loss Candle Ceremony

Monkey, everyday, I promise to love and honor you, however on Mondays, I am honored to light a candle for you, honoring your love & continued light that you bring to my life, each & every day.

I first learned about the Monday Pet Loss Candle Ceremony when I came across the website, Petloss.com. On Monday evenings all across the globe, us pet parents light candles in memory of our loved animal companions. While we all light our candles in our own way, and privately, we are all united because we share a common love for our dear animal companions and we are joined in love and in spirit.

If you choose to join the Ceremony’s chat room (which I haven’t done yet before) it starts at 6 PM. For me, 6 PM is a special time for honoring Monkey, as that was his dinner time… 6 PM on the dot, he would start meowing and asking for food. I loved his predictability.

Setting aside this time to remember, fills my heart with love. Seeing the light of the flame of the candle dance and flicker, reminds me that his energy is still here, brightening my soul.

I encourage you to try this one Monday night, for your loved animal companion. Do it your way, in your style, in whatever fashion makes your heart warmed and a feeling of closeness to your furbaby. For me, I like to light a candle near a picture of Monkey, and say something brief, yet inspirational, honoring our special bond. Since adopting a new kitty, I had to stop lighting a real candle. The LED flameless candles work well for this 🙂

Here’s a direct link to the Candle Ceremony information page: http://www.mondaycandleceremony.com/.

New things bring old memories

I remember fondly, Monkey’s love for shoes. He would snuggle with them, use them as a pillow, sometimes even put his face in them. You could often find him cozied up with one of my studded pairs, rubbing his cheek on the textures. I would even say, “You have a shoe fetish… Just like Mommy.”

Today, I opened the box of a new pair of glittery Doc Marten’s… And I thought of Monkey. Oh how he would have loved these and rubbed his cheek on them and how I would brush the glitter away… Touching his cheek once again. ♥️♥️

Hope

What does hope mean for you? When I would hear others say, “have hope,” it just seemed like a cliche thing to say to someone else who was having a hard time. It wasn’t until I had hit rock bottom in the depths of my grief, for days… weeks on end, that I started having hope. Hope is belief. Hope is knowing that you will meet your precious loved one in your dreams. Hope is believing that you will one day find love again. Hope is knowing, that one day, you too, will meet your loved one on the other side. Hope is feeling the love of your lost loved one, in your heart even on this day. Hope is knowing that you will have that connection with your loved one, for all time. For me, it was either, have hope… or succumb into a dark world of despair. For this day now, and days moving forward, I have hope in my heart.

Bananas

It’s odd sometimes, when little things remind you of your loved one. For me, one of these things is bananas. One of my kitty’s favorite toys was a catnip banana. He had several if he was being wild, snuggly, or needed a small pillow, his catnip banana was exactly what he needed. Now I find myself finding comfort in all things bananas. Banana wallet, banana purse… it’s like anything banana is my personal own special connection. I say, if there is something that reminds you of your loved one, and it contributes a positive memory, there should be no shame in surrounding yourself by these things, no matter how big or small or seemingly silly to another.

In The Rainbows

Hello. What is this place? For the first time late last year, I encountered the big G. Grief. A small word, that has such a crazy rollercoaster of feelings and emotions. When my dearest friend, my ten year old cat, crossed the rainbow bridge, I had never encountered such shock and sadness. My world was torn apart. I thought that the sun wouldn’t rise the next day, but it did. I thought I could never make it from the bed, to the couch, to the car, on a run… without ever crying again. For those of you who have lost someone so important to you, my heart goes out to you. For those of you who ever have lost an animal companion, and had someone say to you, “Why don’t you get another one? It was just a pet,” I hope that you know your love deserves to be honored. I hope that you know that you’re not alone. I hope that you know you deserve to grieve, openly & honestly. My dream is that you find something here, that comforts you, that warms your soul, that let’s you know that there is someone else out there, that understands you, your journey, and your pain. This is not an easy journey, but may we be reassured that our loss can be surrounded by love. By love and light and hope, that one day we will meet our special one in the rainbows once again.