1 Year as a Volunteer

Today marks my 1st anniversary of being a volunteer at my local humane society. I can’t even completely express what that means, but I know that it means a lot to me.

I remember what sparked my interest in becoming a volunteer. It was shortly after Monkey crossed the rainbow bridge and I was having a difficult time and crying a lot. A friend of mine also had a pet cross over the rainbow bridge and we were both crying together and I said, “How lucky these boys are to have so much love. Have someone to cry over them so much. All of those pets in the shelter, they have no one to cry over them.”

Well, I became that person to cry over them. And I quickly realized that those pets in the shelter receive so much love and care and people who fight for them.

People have this stigma about animal shelters, that it’s sad and they look away, they don’t want to talk about it or think about things that are sad. You just can’t look away. Because if you look away, you miss that love from an animal, you miss the kindness in their eyes, you miss their unconditional compassion, you miss the beauty in the human and animal bond, you miss what pure resiliency is.

Monkey, I started doing this because of you. If you hadn’t given me so much love, I wouldn’t have this much love to share. Some cats there remind me of you, and that makes me happy.

Your Love for Someone will Never be Measured in Facebook Comments

Let me start by saying, that I only go on Facebook for work these days, as I manage our social media. The shitty thing is that you have to connect a personal account in order to be able to manage the work account. So, usually I’ll see one top comment or post in my feed by default, before switching over to work.

Yesterday, at the top of my feed, I saw a recent post from an old co-worker/friend, someone that I hadn’t talked to in years. He had a heartbreaking post about his dog, who I had met and spent time with when we hung out years ago, who was suffering and reaching the end of her life. For some reason, I was instantly moved and connected by reading about this. There someone else was, standing on the edge of what I once had, with a furbaby about to cross the rainbow bridge, and my heart was open and heavy reading, reliving, and having dark daydreams.

I wrote a heartfelt comment on his post, and then remembered back to when I had done the same. On the brink of everything changing, I remember too, posting on Facebook. Measuring the love, pain, and affection by the number of sad and heart emojis and comments. Only X amount of comments? My love and pain exceeded far beyond that. Your love for someone will never be measured in Facebook comments, likes, whatever the fuck they have going on.

Shortly after, I gave up Facebook. Dismayed by the fakeness of people saying, “Oh, I’m here if you want to talk.” And then, silence. Am I reciprocating what I experienced to my friend? Am I just going to disappear? No, I won’t. At the very least I can share remember me Monday, where you light a candle in honor of your lost furry friend. But what after that? I don’t know, and I’m not sure that I have to figure that out right now. All that I do know, is that my heart has been forever changed with the loss of my best furry friend. And buddy, I’ll never forget you. And old-friend, this is going to be one of the hardest things that you ever go through, but I promise you, your special love you share will never die.

New things bring old memories

I remember fondly, Monkey’s love for shoes. He would snuggle with them, use them as a pillow, sometimes even put his face in them. You could often find him cozied up with one of my studded pairs, rubbing his cheek on the textures. I would even say, “You have a shoe fetish… Just like Mommy.”

Today, I opened the box of a new pair of glittery Doc Marten’s… And I thought of Monkey. Oh how he would have loved these and rubbed his cheek on them and how I would brush the glitter away… Touching his cheek once again. ♥️♥️

In The Rainbows

Hello. What is this place? For the first time late last year, I encountered the big G. Grief. A small word, that has such a crazy rollercoaster of feelings and emotions. When my dearest friend, my ten year old cat, crossed the rainbow bridge, I had never encountered such shock and sadness. My world was torn apart. I thought that the sun wouldn’t rise the next day, but it did. I thought I could never make it from the bed, to the couch, to the car, on a run… without ever crying again. For those of you who have lost someone so important to you, my heart goes out to you. For those of you who ever have lost an animal companion, and had someone say to you, “Why don’t you get another one? It was just a pet,” I hope that you know your love deserves to be honored. I hope that you know that you’re not alone. I hope that you know you deserve to grieve, openly & honestly. My dream is that you find something here, that comforts you, that warms your soul, that let’s you know that there is someone else out there, that understands you, your journey, and your pain. This is not an easy journey, but may we be reassured that our loss can be surrounded by love. By love and light and hope, that one day we will meet our special one in the rainbows once again.